7/8/15 Monologue Jokes

All stories cribbed from the NY Times.

Frustrated European leaders gave Greece until Sunday to reach an agreement to save its collapsing economy from catastrophe after an emergency summit meeting here on Tuesday ended without the Athens government offering a substantive new proposal to resolve its debt crisis. This response came after Greece said that, in terms of repaying their debt, they were “like, totally good for it, bro.”

In white, working-class Haralson County, the Confederate banner remains a revered symbol, not only of the Confederate dead, but of a unique regional identity. The county, I looked it up, is in Georgia, which makes sense as “unique” just isn’t the right word to use there.

An experimental program that increases subsidies for families who move to more expensive areas is based on research showing that ZIP codes matter to future success. Which makes sense, because if there’s one thing people willingly moving to Tribeca need, it’s help.

SurveyMonkey, a fast-growing online company whose chief executive, David Goldberg, died in May, said on Tuesday that William Veghte would fill the job. Mr. Veghte was chosen as successor, interestingly enough, in a free and easy-to-use process that only took a few minutes of his co-workers’ time.

The Grand Slam of Golf, an exhibition event in October, was to be held at Donald Trump’s golf course in Los Angeles but will be played elsewhere in light of his comments on Mexican immigrants. The replacement course, one that will be more palatable to golfers everywhere, is likely to be Donald Sterling’s.

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