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Venice Wonderland, set to the tune of “Carol of the Bells”

(jk jk, it’s based on “Winter Wonderland”)

Rowers sing, are you listening,

Grand canal, water’s glistening.

A beautiful sight,

We’re happy tonight.

Walking in a Venice wonderland.

Gone away is the bag man,

Here to stay is a rose man.

He gets in your face,

And takes up your space,

Walking in a Venice wonderland.

At San Marco, we can all make poses,

And pretend the vendors are not there.

They’ll say: “Piace?”

We’ll say: “We hate roses,”

“Non mi interessa–

I don’t care.”

Later on, we’ll be PO’d,

As we chew on subpar “cibo.”

To face unafraid,

Tourist prices we’ve paid,

Walking in a Venice wonderland.

In the strada we can buy a snow globe,

The glass, we’re told, comes straight from Murano.

We’ll have lots of fun with mister snow globe,

‘Till it breaks ‘cuz it’s from China long ago.

When it snows, ain’t it thrilling,

It happened once, when God was willing.

So we’ll just smoke every day, the Italian way,

Walking in a Venice wonderland.