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Cool, chocolate cleat creations.  Very classy start to a classy city.

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“Mom, mom, mommy, ma, mom, mom, ma, ma, mommy, mommy…”
Hmmm…Maybe “classy” isn’t the word I’m looking for.

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Maybe the most brilliant T-shirt ever created.  I may or may not have bought seven of these.
(Check that: Definitely not the word I’m looking for.)

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Casual band of Dutchmen in black face. Nothing to see here, people.

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The most addicting soccer simulation ever. Try to blast a PK by a world-class keeper by kicking a deflated ball into the screen, watch the results, and pray. Pulling two of my attempts wide–unacceptable, I know–was the worst I’ve felt in a while. I’d just like the opportunity to apologize to my friends, family, teammates, and country for that performance. Disgraceful.

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That’s not how you spell “brewery,” but I’ll allow it, especially after all of the knowledge about tasting beer this place gifted me. Although, now that I think about it, all of it was, basically, “Drink Heineken Faster and In Greater Quantities Than Before.” Legit AND objective–can’t beat that.

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Casual claymation production from the Heineken factory. I believe all of the screenplay rights still belong to the Coen Brothers.

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Given the rich tradition of Dutch boxers, this giant statue of Mike Tyson in the middle of Amsterdam’s most famous market makes perfect sense.
I honestly can’t think of anything better to summarize the city than this picture.

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