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Listed by Increasing Degree of Difficulty

1. Work part-time as a gondolier

2. Party with Silvio Berlusconi

2a. Party with Mario Balotelli

3. Expose the latest Juventus match-fixing scandal

4. Become Prime Minister

5. Make a Catholic priest joke within earshot of The Pope

6. Produce a movie scene that obviously involves a boat chase through the canals

7. Solve the Euro Crisis

8. Break up a European sex trafficking organization with Liam Neeson

9. Grow a mustache

10. Sing opera with Pavarotti (he’s the Italian Elvis)

11. Become the guy who casually kisses people on the cheek whenever he meets them or says goodbye